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graveyard
GRAVEYARD
Notice of an itinerary change—
Well, shucks! You died. This might be a familiar experience for you, maybe not. Either way, you're probably feeling distinctly less dead now, with any injuries you previously obtained now healed. Grogginess still clouds your mind, but in a way that's reminiscent of waking up rather than anything nefarious.
... Not too unlike when you first arrived here, actually. Namely, because you wake up in what looks to be an airport terminal. Again! It's not quite the same as the one you were in before, but you're not free of airports yet, it seems. To be specific, you're in the baggage claim area, in the most literal sense: lying in an open suitcase on the carousel, going round and around (or, if you were unlucky, you might've tumbled out of the suitcase as it slid down onto the conveyor belt). You might want to hop off at some point.
If you're worried about your belongings, you can find them either on your person or in another suitcase chugging along on the belt. Once you retrieve everything, there's a new area to explore. Plus, reunions to be had with those who died before you, or with the four Hosts you haven't seen since the first week. And should you be worried about the living side, there are various screens around the terminal, allowing you to still watch what's going on over there.
► GRAVEYARD RUNDOWN
- You are able to see the living (and their public network posts).
- Weekly effects are still active.
- Any personal items you didn't give away before your death are with you in the graveyard.
- You can still use your curse items on the living, with the usual caveats of avoiding OOC inconvenience (e.g. no effects that would last into Thursday night).
- The graveyard has its own set of NPCs (Maestro, Bora, Libeccio, Scirocco). You are no longer able to contact the living side's NPCs via audiences, but you can talk to the other four once again.
- If you get injured and would like to be healed (within reason), the graveyard NPCs can heal to varying degrees, so feel free to handwave tapping them until you got one who could help you.
- You may handwave the NPCs explaining the basics to you: you're alive again, but you're unable to regroup with the "living" side due to lacking a mode of transportation to the airport terminal where they are, and a barrier is blocking people from leaving the old-fashioned way. Trying to book a ride is a work in progress for the entire graveyard.
QUICKLINKS
no subject
Recipient: Kaworu
Message Content: OMEGACORP DOMESTIC FELINE ENGAGEMENT PROTOCOL (DFEP-7.1) Activity: Recreational Cat Playtime Duration: Variable (until disinterest is expressed via tail flick or disdainful walkaway)
Phase 1: Pre-Engagement Preparation
1. Secure Environment:
* Ensure the room is free of loud noises, vacuum cleaners, cucumbers, or unauthorized laser activity.
* Remove fragile objects from shelves.
2. Cat Status Check:
* Confirm cat is awake, fed, and not mid-zoomie.
* Perform a non-intrusive vibe check. If cat is loafing with eyes half-open, proceed cautiously.
* DO NOT initiate play during “Staring At Invisible Ghost” mode.
3. Toy Selection:
* Choose ONE of the following (per Session Type A):
* Wand toy with feathers (Level 1 prey mimicry)
* String (classic, cat-approved)
* Crinkly fish (auditory engagement bonus)
* Mouse with catnip (administer with caution—may trigger chaos)
* Laser pointer (for cardio-focused sessions only)
* Conduct quality inspection: No loose parts, weird smells, or human embarrassment.
Phase 2: Engagement Initiation
4. Eye Contact:
* Avoid direct eye contact. Offer a slow blink.
* Await return blink. This is known as “Trust Authentication Handshake.”
5. Toy Activation:
* Gently wave the selected toy 6–8 inches from the cat’s nose.
* If the cat stares blankly, increase intensity by 12%.
* If cat pounces immediately, proceed to Phase 3.
6. Playstyle Calibration:
* Observe response:
* Sudden pounce = High-energy mode
* Lazy paw swat = Low-battery mode
* Immediate walkaway = User error or existential crisis
Phase 3: Full Play Engagement
7. Mimic Real Prey Behavior:
* Toy movements should follow these rules:
* Irregular, unpredictable patterns
* Darting under furniture, slight pauses, dramatic reveals
* Avoid “lazy dragging”—cats will lose respect
* If using laser pointer: NEVER shine in eyes. Redirect to soft target (floor, wall, unaware teammate)
8. Verbal Encouragement:
* Say things like:
* “Who’s a fierce office hunter of foul Quality Assurances Managers?”
* “Get that mouse! You’re so brave!”
* “You are the chaos I never asked for but truly deserve.”
* Optional: Praise their fine and well-groomed coat
Phase 4: Peak Play and De-escalation
9. Monitor for Overstimulation:
* Signs include:
* Ears back
* Tail lashing
* Sudden attack on your ankle
* “The Look”™
* If any signs occur, initiate emergency wind-down protocol.
10. Cool-Down Play:
* Transition to slower movements
* Let the cat “win” by catching and biting the toy
* Praise enthusiastically as if they’ve slain an entire Quality Assurances Birthday Bash/Margarita Friday Gathering
11. Reward Phase:
* Offer small treat or gentle head scritches
* Avoid belly rub unless you enjoy hand-to-claw combat
Phase 5: Toy Retrieval and Emotional Closure
12. Toy Storage:
* Do NOT leave out string-based toys unsupervised.
* Store all toys in a secure, cat-proof container. (Cat will find it anyway.)
13. Gratitude Acknowledgement:
* Thank your cat for the opportunity to serve
* Accept that you will never be appreciated directly
* Consider yourself lucky if the cat sits within 3 feet of you afterward
14. Emotional Debrief (for humans):
* Journal the experience. Reflect on the fleeting nature of feline affection.
* Cry, if necessary.
REMEMBER: You don’t play with a cat. The cat plays with you.
For further clarification, please refer to Appendix A: Tail Language Interpretations and Appendix B: Why the Cat is Now Sitting in the Toy Basket but Refusing to Play.
Let me know if you’d like a follow-up training module for “Successfully Administering a Pill to a Cat (Emergency Edition).”
Object(s) Mailed:
Day: Friday
Recipient: Manwol
Message Content:
URGENT
Subj: Requisitioned Office Supplies
It has come to our attention that a number of OmegaCorp office supplies that been removed from the supply cabinet and from employee desks without proper requisition or logging through the Asset Utilization Portal.
Let us be abundantly clear: OmegaCorp maintains a zero-tolerance policy toward unauthorized procurement or displacement of office materials, as outlined in the Corporate Resources Integrity Framework (CRIF, Section 6.2.9).
While we understand the allure of smooth-flow ink and ergonomic stapling, this behavior represents a breakdown in mutual trust, resource governance, and shared stationary ethics.
If you have knowledge of or involvement in this incident, you have 24 hours to:
1. Return all materials to their designated locations.
2. Submit a written acknowledgment via Form 9B (“Voluntary Supply Amnesty Statement”).
3. Attend a Mandatory Office Ethics Refresher Workshop, hosted in Conference Room B (snacks not included due to budget cuts).
Failure to comply may result in disciplinary escalation, up to and including revocation of drawer access privileges and permanent placement on the Office Inventory Watchlist™.
Remember: pens are cheap, but integrity is priceless.
Yours in compliance,
OmegaCorp Industries
Supplies Compliance
Object(s) Mailed:
Day: Friday
Recipient: Ryo
Message Content:
Hi [Employee Name],
I wanted to touch base regarding your unexpected out-of-office status this past Friday. While I absolutely support work-life balance and understand that life occasionally throws us curveballs, I do need to raise a few alignment concerns from a leadership perspective.
Your absence created a downstream bottleneck that impacted several deliverables tied to our Q2 strategic roadmap. Multiple stakeholders were left without the cross-functional synergy needed to move forward efficiently. In short: we lost momentum at a time when operational agility is mission-critical.
I recognize that everyone needs to recharge, but Fridays are high-visibility touchpoints where we drive key initiatives across the finish line. When one node in the value chain goes dark, the ripple effect can be significant.
Going forward, I’d ask that we maintain greater visibility and proactive communication, especially when capacity constraints may interfere with core objectives. If you're experiencing recurring bandwidth issues, I’d be happy to realign on priorities or explore optimization strategies.
We’re all in this ecosystem together, and every piece of the puzzle is essential.
Let’s recalibrate on Monday.
Best,
Calvin Omega
CEO, OmegaCorp Industries
Day: Friday
Recipient: Totty
Message Content:
Subject: Compliance Concern: Stapler Usage Deviation Incident Report
Following CEO Calvin Omega’s recent incident report regarding your “exceptional stapling,” Legal has reviewed the matter for procedural consistency.
While we commend your enthusiasm and recognize your contribution to interdepartmental packet cohesion, it’s our duty to raise a few concerns regarding Stapler Protocol Compliance (SPC-14.2.1).
Upon inspection, your staple placement, though visually stunning, was 1.3mm outside the approved “Top-Left Safe Zone” as defined in the OmegaCorp Document Fastening Handbook, Rev. Q4-2023. Additionally, the use of three staples (instead of the standard two) has triggered an automatic review under our Office Supply Conservation Initiative (OSCI-7B).
We’d like to remind you that while innovation is welcome, all fastening activities must remain within the bounds of established ergonomic, fiscal, and risk mitigation frameworks. Unregulated stapling could result in:
* Misaligned scan automation
* Increased wear on hole-punch units
* Reputational risk during external packet distribution
Please consider this a friendly formal pre-warning and schedule a 15-minute meeting with Office Asset Compliance to recalibrate your stapler (and possibly your expectations).
Thank you for your continued enthusiasm—and remember: every staple tells a story.
Warm regards, OmegaCorp Office Supplies Compliance Division