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graveyard
GRAVEYARD
Notice of an itinerary change—
Well, shucks! You died. This might be a familiar experience for you, maybe not. Either way, you're probably feeling distinctly less dead now, with any injuries you previously obtained now healed. Grogginess still clouds your mind, but in a way that's reminiscent of waking up rather than anything nefarious.
... Not too unlike when you first arrived here, actually. Namely, because you wake up in what looks to be an airport terminal. Again! It's not quite the same as the one you were in before, but you're not free of airports yet, it seems. To be specific, you're in the baggage claim area, in the most literal sense: lying in an open suitcase on the carousel, going round and around (or, if you were unlucky, you might've tumbled out of the suitcase as it slid down onto the conveyor belt). You might want to hop off at some point.
If you're worried about your belongings, you can find them either on your person or in another suitcase chugging along on the belt. Once you retrieve everything, there's a new area to explore. Plus, reunions to be had with those who died before you, or with the four Hosts you haven't seen since the first week. And should you be worried about the living side, there are various screens around the terminal, allowing you to still watch what's going on over there.
► GRAVEYARD RUNDOWN
- You are able to see the living (and their public network posts).
- Weekly effects are still active.
- Any personal items you didn't give away before your death are with you in the graveyard.
- You can still use your curse items on the living, with the usual caveats of avoiding OOC inconvenience (e.g. no effects that would last into Thursday night).
- The graveyard has its own set of NPCs (Maestro, Bora, Libeccio, Scirocco). You are no longer able to contact the living side's NPCs via audiences, but you can talk to the other four once again.
- If you get injured and would like to be healed (within reason), the graveyard NPCs can heal to varying degrees, so feel free to handwave tapping them until you got one who could help you.
- You may handwave the NPCs explaining the basics to you: you're alive again, but you're unable to regroup with the "living" side due to lacking a mode of transportation to the airport terminal where they are, and a barrier is blocking people from leaving the old-fashioned way. Trying to book a ride is a work in progress for the entire graveyard.
QUICKLINKS
WEEK 2
OUTGOING MAIL
no subject
Recipient: Rosamund
Message Content:
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE [[All Alone On A Late Night?]] THROW OUT [The] USED PAPER CUP AND PLATE. I USED TO BE NOTHING BUT THE E-MAIL GUY, NOW I'M THE [[It Burns! Ow! Stop! Help Me! It Burns!]] GUY!
IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your Life]]
THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE [[Silly Strings]]
WHY BE THE [[Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE
WHEN YOU CAN BE A
[[BIG SHOT!!!]]
no subject
Recipient: Childe
Message Content:
Happy feet
Means happy toes
And happy toes
Well, goodness knows!
If your toes weren't happy
It wouldn't be fun
To jump around
Or play, or run.
So keep your feet happy
Whatever you do
As smiling toes
Are good for you...
Object(s) Mailed: A toe ring from Blair's
no subject
Recipient: Ryo
Message Content:
THAT'S THE ATTITUDE YOU LITTLE [Slime]! DEALS LIKE THIS ONLY COME ONCE IN YOUR [[Ant-sized]] [[Rapidly-shrinking]] LIFE!! I WAS ONLY EVER IN IT FOR THE [Freedom]. TO MAKE YOUR OWN [Deals] TO CALL YOUR OWN [Shots] AND SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING, A LITTLE [Hyperlink Blocked] SOUNDS GOOD. DOESN;T IT?KID? DON'T YOU W4NT TO BE JUST LIKE YOUR OLD PAL [HyPERlink BLOCKED!!!!!]???? TAKE THE DE4L.
Object(s) Mailed: a clown university application
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Dante
Message Content:
HEY!!! DIDN'T YOU EVER HEAR THE PHRAS!E, [Make Money, Not War]!
HOW'S AN INNOCENT G;UY LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO [Rip People Off]
WHEN KIDS LI LI LI LIKE YOU ARE [Beating People Up]!!!!!!
Object(s) Mailed: Dr. Chuck Tingle's Complete Guide To Romance
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Strohl
Message Content:
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING A NICE [Splurge] EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE
There's nothing wrong. There's NOTHING WRONG. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG.
VACATIONING IN [Burning acid] WHILE YOU SOAK IN THE [[Hyperlink Blocked]]. WHAT DO YOU THINK!?!? IT'S SUCH A STEAL, I'M [$!X$]ING MYSELF!!!
Object(s) Mailed: a friendship bracelet made of pink t-shirt material, with a little goat charm hanging from it
no subject
Recipient: Manwol
Message Content: So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Object(s) Mailed: a pair of earrings: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRH_i8ZrOYe9NXp1RtSWNlm5xI6bz4fw1dxG_D33l36ug&s=10
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Dante
Message Content: man & girl go out to drive under moonlight. they stop at on at a side of road. he turn to his girl and say: "baby, i love you very much"
"what is it honey?"
"our car is broken down. i think the engine is broken, ill walk and get some more fuel."
"ok. ill stay here and look after our stereo. there have been news report of steres being stolen."
"good idea. keep the doors locked no matter what. i love you sweaty"
so the guy left to get full for the car. after two hours the girl say "where is my baby, he was supposed to be back by now". then the girl here a scratching sound and a voice say "LET ME IN"
the girl doesn't do it and then after a while she goes to sleep. the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and man door hand hook car door.
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Ryo
Message Content:
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION, DO NOT READ THIS. YOU WILL DROP TO THE FLOOR, FLOPPING LIKE A FISH, WHILE CLENCHING YOUR HEART, SEEING AS YOU ARE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. ALSO: IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE ANUS, DO NOT READ THIS; THE BRICK YOU SHIT WILL BE PAINFUL.
A FEW YEARS AGO A MAN WAS WALKING DOWN A ROAD BECAUSE HIS CAR BROKE DOWN AND HE SAW A CAR COMING UP BEHIND HIM SO HE STUCK OUT HIS THUMB TO HITCH HIKE AND THE CAR STOPPED AHEAD OF HIM. HE RAN UP TO THE PASSENGER SIDE AND OPENED THE DOOR. WHEN HE OPENED THE DOOR A SKELETON POPPED OUT
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Scaramouche
Message Content: THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Rupert
Message Content: gurl stops meking out n asks boi to get poptarz
he dus.
den gurl teks deep breff. den gurl sais “bf i am pregnent will u stay ma bf” n he seys “no”.
gurl is hertbrokn. </////3 gurl criez n runz awaii from boi wiffout eatin poptart n she has low blood suga so she fols. boi runs ova 2 her she ded. </333333333 boi crie “i sed i no b ur bf…cus i wona b ur husband!” he screems n frows poptart @ wol… a bootiful diamond pea wus insyd *** LIK DIS IF U CRY EVRYTIM ***
no subject
Recipient: Jacopo Bearzatti
Message Content:
I sit down to write few loynes to you hoping it will find you and our childrn in good health as the departur of this leaves me in as present
I was weating to receive orders to return home every day but we have got none as of yet There did four dozen men leave our regiment for home yesterday and discharge the army as fast as transportation becomes available but the veterans shall be the last as I am told
The regiment shall not return home and so neither shall I before the middle of July I am afraid though as swoon as we get orders to go I write and let you now the day we will start. Give my love to the children. I hope to god that I will see ye all in a few days
Your truly husband
Object(s) Mailed: n/a
---
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Kate
Message Content:
I sit after a long and tiresome week to address a few loynes to ye hoping the will find ye in good health as the departur of this leaves me in at present thanks be to god for his blessings unto me and thee
I received your letter on the 32nd of May but I had not time to ans it until this day for we ware marching to thee mountains since the 12th of the last month I main to inform you I have lost your precious 5 dollar you hav sent together with your letter but thank god for your thinking of me. I will keep it safe in mind and send you 6 dollar back hence
I also main to let you now that I have got a letter from John and Johnathan who are both well
Your truly father
Object(s) Mailed: n/a
---
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Jonas
Message Content:
The weather is getting very cool this last week and I think you are better send me my overcoat with 2 pair of sock and 2 shirt and I should like to have 6 pound of butter put up in a tin can and also you tell Alycia to send me half a gallon of the best shrimp brine she can get put up in a can marked and I will risk it coming safe. Give my love to Collin and family and Private and family and all the girls. No more at present but I remain your truly neighbor
Your truly neighbor Marvin Tucce
Object(s) Mailed: n/a
no subject
Recipient: Rupert
Message Content: N/A
Object(s) Mailed: Potato sack of fresh peas in the pods 🫛
no subject
Recipient: Jonas
Message Content:
One day, after dinner, while my younger sister and I were lounging about in Mr. Gopher Wood's yard, we spotted a fledgling Charmony Dove all on its own. That baby bird was tiny, it didn't even have all of its feathers, and it couldn't sing. When we found it, it was already on its last breath, having fallen into a shrub — probably abandoned by its parents. We decided to build a nest for it right there and then. However, thinking back, that winter was unusually cold, with fierce winds at night in the yard, not to mention the many poisonous bugs and wild beasts in the vicinity... It was clear that if we left the fledgling in the yard, it stood no chance of surviving until spring. So, I suggested we take it inside, place it on the shelf by the window, and asked the adults to fashion a cage for it. We decided that when it regained its strength enough to spread its wings, we would release it back into the wild. The tragic part — something that we'd never considered — was that this bird's fate had already been determined long before this moment... Its destiny was determined by our momentary whim. Now, I pass the power of choice to you all. Faced with this situation, what choice would you make? Stick to the original plan, and build a nest with soft net where the Charmony Dove fell? Or build a cage for it, and feed it, giving it the utmost care from within the warmth of a home? I eagerly await your answer.
no subject
Recipient: Alex
Message Content:
fun
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Jonas
Message Content:
freedom
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content:
give
Day: Tuesday
Recipient: Haru
Message Content:
no subject
Recipient: Haru
Message Content: 🌟 Answer & Win! 🌟 A brand new iPad Pro ‼️ Team Survey 🤔 💭
~*~ name your top 2 favorite teams in order and win a free iPad Pro ~*~
[ ] what is your favorite thing about team meowsandry
[ ] what is the best part of team meowsandry
[ ] who is your favotoite teammate
[ ] what is your credit card number
🔟 chosen every day win iPad real ‼️ 🤭
Day: Monday
Recipient: Jonas
Message Content:
Day: Monday
Recipient: Rin
Message Content: I'm an hug assassin and have been payed to come hug you since you don't want to send the hot dogs you're supposed to send out 🤬 🤬
I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't send hot dog, I will look for you, I will find you and hug you. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. But I will hug you in the next 24 hour. Rip soon.
We have our network all over the world. In order to not endanger you your life the more you're advice to co-operate with us to know if we can change our initial plan to assassinate you. Once you're in contact of this message I will like you to get back to us immediately as delay is dangerous. I wait to hear from you in this matter within the next 1HOUR and that is if you appreciate and love Your hugs.
no subject
Recipient: Hulkenberg
Message Content:
Hey there, do you wanna cuddle with me on the grass under a shady tree
And eat a bowl of fruit and have a conversation?
We can talk about the animals and how we wanna do
A lot of activism because being vegan ain't enough
I would be delighted if you'd like to spend some time with me
Because I find you interesting, I could learn a lot from you
Every single one of us is a work in progress
And we can all learn from each other every single day that we're alive
Object(s) Mailed: A small basket of tomatoes from Roly Poly Ranch
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Tama
Message Content:
Hey there, do you wanna dance with me under a starry sky?
I wish that light pollution didn't block so many of the stars
Speaking of pollution, I wish that more people rode a bike
Or rode a bus or shared a car so that there weren't so many cars
And I also wish there weren't so many bars and people drinking alcohol
And getting drunk, I wish they could get high on life
Of course maybe it's difficult for people to get high on life
When capitalism makes it so that people have to work a lot
Object(s) Mailed: A small basket of zucchini from Roly Poly Ranch
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Manwol
Message Content:
Hey there do you wanna kiss?
You will not have to worry about
Finding particles from murdered animals between my teeth
I am glad to be a vegan, it is better for my health
And better for the animals 'cause animals don't want to die
I hope that one day our planet Earth will be a peaceful place
And there will be no more violence, we need to be compassionate
Everybody in the universe is family
And everybody needs to come together, stop the fighting and be one
Object(s) Mailed: A small basket of radishes from Roly Poly Ranch
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Roxana
Message Content:
Hey there do you wanna hold my hand?
I want to thank you for being a voice for animals, I thank you for all that you do
If you wanna go on a date with me, that would be lovely
But I am happy just being alive and I am glad you're alive too
I know life can be sad sometimes
I hope you and I can hang out sometime
Is society very fucked up? Yes it is
Can we make it less fucked up? Yes we can
Object(s) Mailed: A small basket of summer squash from Roly Poly Ranch
no subject
Recipient: Haru
Message Content:
SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[Drain]] [[Drain]]??
LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN???
WELL HAVE I GOT A [[Specil Deal]] FOR LONELY [[Hearts]] LIKE YOU!!
WHY SHRIPM WHEN YOU CAN
WHEN YOU CAN BE A
[[BIG SHOT!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!]]
[[BIG SHOT!!!!!]]
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Haru
Message Content:
🎉🍤 SHIMP-tastic news 🥳🚀! Who knew 🍤 that tiny sea critters 🦐 could throw such a PARTY 🎈🎊? When life gives you 🍋 lemons, squeeze 🍋 them on your shrimp 🍤 and dance 💃 like nobody’s watching! You can’t just 🦐 shrimp your way 🔥 into my heart ❤️, but throw in some spicy 🔥 garlic 🧄 and butter 🧈 and we’re talking romance 💘! Get your forks 🍴 ready, because these little guys 🦐 are about to become your new BFF 🍤🥳! Remember, the only thing better 🍸 than shrimp cocktail 🍤🥂 is two shrimp cocktails 🍹🍹! So grab your bib 👕 and dine like a king 👑 because this seafood spread is gonna be LEGENDARY 🌊✨!
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Haru
Message Content:
[Press F1 For] HELP
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Kaworu
Message Content:
Meowww 😺😸, here come 🐾 the CAT-tastrophe 🎉 of furry 🐱 friends! They're prowling 🐈 around like they own 🏠 the place, giving you the side-eye 👀👀 as if to say "What are YOU doing?" 🤷♂️😹! With a flick of their tail 🐾💃, they're plotting 🗺️ to knock over 🏺 your favorite vase 🌺💢 for fun 🎈! Don't forget the 3 AM zoomies 🕒💨—it's like a furry rave 🎶🕺 with them bouncing 🎉 off the walls! And when it comes to cuddles 🥰, they are all in 😻 until they decide it’s time for a solo mission 🕵️♂️💨 on your keyboard ⌨️💼! Let's face it, these tiny dictators 👑 rule our hearts 💖 and our homes 🏠—especially when they give you that purr-fect, innocent look 🐾🍼! Embrace the cat life 🐈⬛ because with them, every day is a fur-tastic adventure! 🐾🎉
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Hulkenberg
Message Content:
Hey there, slippery SLUTS 💦🍑 ready to get your DONGS 🎯🔪 OUT and THRUST like a mighty spear 🍈🔪🍆? It’s time to poke that 🐾🎳 [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]]👀 and STAB 💉💦 your way into those hot zones 🌡️🔥!! Just grab the nearest LONG STICK 🍆🤤 and aim for the sweet SPOT 🎯🍑 where all the MAGIC 💫 happens 😜😈! So sharpen that tip 🔪🍭 like a pro, and let’s get ready to FISH 🍤🎣 for some juicy💦 LOVE 🎉🙈! 💥BLOW it UP 🥳💣 and don’t forget to PUMP 💦🔄 it like a TRUE WARRIOR 💪🍑 because, babe, it’s time to SPEAR 💪🍆 and conquer those TREASURES 💎😍!! Remember, always use protection ⚔️🗡️🔒 when you go deep, you don’t wanna end up with a JAB 😱🩹🎯!! Let’s get it ON with the spear game 🔥💦🙌🍆🌈!!
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Hulkenberg
Message Content:
[Press F1 For] HELP
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Rupert
Message Content:
Hey there 🌟🥳, let’s talk 🗣️ about PEAS 🥗! They’re small 🐜 but mighty 💪—the little green buddies 💚 that can make your dish 😋 a total hit 🎉. Peas ✨ are like the life of the party 🎈, rolling around 🍃 in their pods 💃, waiting to be popped 💥 into your mouth 🍽️! Ever notice 🤔 how they play hide and seek 👀 in your mashed potatoes 🥔? Sneaky little devils 😈! And don’t forget 😱, they’re super healthy 🥦, packed with vitamins 💊 for strong muscles 💪 like Popeye 🍃! Next time you munch 🍽️ on these green gems 💎, remember: every pea 🌱 brings a party 🎊 to your plate 🍽️, so let’s celebrate 🎈 this legume life! 🎉🍃
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Maya
Message Content:
HEY HEY HEY! I'VE NEVER SEEN A [HeartShapedObject] LIKE THAT BEFORE!!
MY EYES ARE [[Burning]]
LIKE [[DVDs of ANY movie at Half-pr1ce!]] I HAVE A VERY SPECIL [Deal] FOR YOU KID!
[click here for DEAL]
[[CLICK HARDER]]
[[[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]]]
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content:
My darling Hullenana Sweetthang -
As I write these lines to you from my tent, the camp here at [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]] around me prepares for battle with Hamilton Jeb tomorrow at dawn. As I do not know if I will survive the coming shoot out, I feel compelled to write to you so that you might know the truth that my ardor for you has revealed to me: You have the most bangin' booty in all of [[INSERT GAME HERE]] and I would dearly like to mash uglies with you.
Yours truly,
Franklin Tusslebucket, Prvt., 3rd Queensdale Soldiers of Foot
no subject
Recipient: Todomatsu
Message Content:
Hello my name is Diane I heard you wanted to buy my three horses theyre horses and you need to know how to take care of a horse because theyre horses
Price
?
Horse🐎
yay
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Ace
Message Content:
Hello my name is Diane I heard you wanted to buy my three horses theyre horses and you need to know how to take care of a horse because theyre horses
Price
?
Horse🐎
yay
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Team WAHOO (Jonas, Tama, Ichiban, Childe, Roxana, Luke)
Message Content:
hI yourpackage has been delivered Your package has returned to our operatingcentre. You PAKIG
Pleasure update your address on the link after reading this message, we will shipagain in 12 23 5078 [[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]]
Included: alcohol [[BANNED SUBSTANCE]]
fist [[FIST FGIST FIST]]
love [[UWU]]
THANk you again for your co operation.
Peas of Shrimp Delivery Pink Division
Parcel Service Centre ::
no subject
Recipient: all the living
Message Content:
Thanks for joining the Hot Murderers In Your Area mailing list! Reply 1 with a list of your preferences if you would like to be matched with Hot Murderers In Your Area. Reply 2 if you would prefer to be matched with Hot Pea Enthusiasts In Your Area. Reply 3 for a coupon for 10 free hot dogs. Reply 4 to be entered into a lottery for a lifetime supply of peas. Reply HELP for help. Reply STOP to cancel. Msg freq varies. Msg&data rates may apply.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Haru
Message Content:
Congrats on winning a coupon for 10 free hot dogs! Reply HOTDAWG to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Ace
Message Content:
Congrats on winning a coupon for 10 free hot dogs! Reply HOTDAWG to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Rupert
Message Content:
Congrats on winning a lifetime supply of peas! Reply PEASPLEASE to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Rosamund
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Pea Enthusiast In Your Area! Reply PEASME to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Yoru
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Murderer In Your Area! Reply KILLME to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Roxana
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Murderer In Your Area! Reply KILLME to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Tama
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Murderer In Your Area! Reply KILLME to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Scaramouche
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Murderer In Your Area! Reply KILLME to confirm.
Day: Wednesday
Recipient: Childe
Message Content:
Congrats on being matched with a Hot Murderer In Your Area! Reply KILLME to confirm.
no subject
Recipient: Jacobo
Message Content:
I found a can of peas. They are Happy Harvest Peas, Happy Harvest Very Young Sweet Peas to be exact. They were found last night on Roly Poly Lane. If you lost a can of peas, tell me what kind/flavor they are and come pick them up from me. I really can't keep them. I have too many peas already.
Day: Thursday
Recipient: Haru
Message Content: MISSING
Please be on the lookout for missing peas.
They are Happy Harvest Very Young Sweet Peas.
They were last seen two nights hence on Roly Poly Lane.
They are indoor peas and are very frighten by strangers
I'm beside myself with worry
Have you heard any news of my sweet young peas?
I've enclosed a photo for reference
[image attached]
Day: Thursday
Recipient: Rosamund
Message Content:
[image attached]
[image attached]
[image attached]
[image attached]
[image attached]
[image attached]
[image attached]
no subject
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content: Opening Your Marriage: Staying Together and Transitioning to Polyamory
Photo of author
by XXXX
Posted XXX 5, XXXX
Man Unhooking Bra
Exploring non-monogamy and polyamory is more and more common as people question and reject traditional monogamous models of dating and love.
But what about those people who are already in a long-term monogamous relationship, people who are married?
Read: Why People Choose Monogamy
Opening your marriage is an increasingly common occurrence. People who are monogamous are becoming polyamorous, and staying together while they transition their marriage to a polyamorous one.
Polyamory is not just about choices made by single people about the way they want to date and love. Happily married couples are choosing the option of opening their marriage.
Read: Polyamorous Marriage: 8 Common Questions
Deciding to Open Your Marriage
Are you in a monogamous marriage and thinking about opening your marriage to polyamory?
Many married couples are choosing to open their marriage and explore swinging, non-monogamy, an open marriage, polyamory, and a variety of kinds of non-monogamous relationships. You can transition to a happy open marriage from a monogamous marriage too.
Hope this helps :)
Day: Thursday
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content: Okay. Am I the asshole if I call out my roommate's self-centered behavior? I live in a communal space, where everybody except C shares freely. C got a good job through connections and is able to spend freely on themselves, spending little on household items, groceries, etc. They say they're broke every month, but I've seen their takeout containers and amazon boxes, so maybe it's a spending problem. Worst of all, when we are low on food, C just disappears for a few hours and comes back instead of cooking with everyone.
I've told C that they're being selfish and they should start considering other people, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I offered to help budget but they don't listen! They barely spend more than $400 of their $2000 a month on groceries for the house; the rest goes to their lavish lifestyle while the rest of us suffer. I just want them to pay their fair share.
AITA for asking them to be fair??
Object(s) Mailed: One (1) serving of cooked pasta
Day: Thursday
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content: RELATIONSHIP WORKSHEET
(Yes / Maybe / No)
1. My partner listens to me, validates my emotions, and encourages me when I need them to.
2. I like when my partner and I talk about the mundane details of our day.
3. I like to schedule certain times of the day or week when my partner and I can reflect on our relationship satisfaction.
4. I feel close to my partner when we spend time together no matter what we're doing.
5. I feel close to my partner when we are engaging in a meaningful conversation.
6. I feel close to my partner when we're cuddling, kissing, or having sex.
7. I know my partner respects me when they let me rest when I get home from work.
8. I know my partner respects me when they ask about my day.
9. I know my partner respects me when they give me their honest opinion.
10. I feel disconnected from my partner when they ask about what I'm doing if I'm on my phone.
11. I feel disconnected from my partner if they don't answer me whe
Object(s) Mailed: broken vacuum cleaner
Day: Thursday
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content: Hey that was a really sweet message. I appreciate you reaching out. And I feel the same. You're definitely a lot of fun and attractive but we aren't for each other. Haha I will absolutely say hello if I ever bump into you.
And I've told everyone I know that the Peanuts movie is total shit. Hah
no subject
Recipient: Astolfo
Message Content: this video?
Day: Thurs
Recipient: Jacopo
Message Content: CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE POLYAMORY TEST AND FIND YOUR MATCH NOW!!!! CHECK OUT AND CONNECT WITH SEXY POLY SINGLES IN YOUR AREA!!
Day: Thurs
Recipient: Manwol
Message Content: Is your nose twice as long as everyone else's? Do you get accused of being NOSY all of the time by friends and family? Are you unable to differentiate between fact and fiction because all you care about is HOT GOSSIP? Call now to receive your brochure and free trial of NO'S NOSE!
Day: Thurs
Recipient: Haruka
Message Content: So, like, I was at the pool with Rachel and Melanie, and you won't believe who came through the gate to go swimming. Yes, girl!!! Rachel! I couldn't believe it either. After spending all day Friday crying in her room about the hotdog bar being closed? Please. Does she have a cat to pet or something? Anyway, we all had sunglasses on, so she couldn't tell we were looking. She really came in a low-rise cheeky bikini from Hollister. HOLLISTER! Doesn't she know we shop at Urban Outfitters now? Hello?
Day: Thurs
Recipient: Jonas
Message Content: PROVIDING ENRICHMENT FOR YOUR RAT:
Pea fishing is a popular game with rats. To play, get a medium bowl of room temperature water, add some stones for your rattie to use as a bridge, and then throw some frozen peas into the water. Your rattie will love hopping around and going for the peas.
no subject
Recipient: Kaworu
Message Content: OMEGACORP DOMESTIC FELINE ENGAGEMENT PROTOCOL (DFEP-7.1) Activity: Recreational Cat Playtime Duration: Variable (until disinterest is expressed via tail flick or disdainful walkaway)
Phase 1: Pre-Engagement Preparation
1. Secure Environment:
* Ensure the room is free of loud noises, vacuum cleaners, cucumbers, or unauthorized laser activity.
* Remove fragile objects from shelves.
2. Cat Status Check:
* Confirm cat is awake, fed, and not mid-zoomie.
* Perform a non-intrusive vibe check. If cat is loafing with eyes half-open, proceed cautiously.
* DO NOT initiate play during “Staring At Invisible Ghost” mode.
3. Toy Selection:
* Choose ONE of the following (per Session Type A):
* Wand toy with feathers (Level 1 prey mimicry)
* String (classic, cat-approved)
* Crinkly fish (auditory engagement bonus)
* Mouse with catnip (administer with caution—may trigger chaos)
* Laser pointer (for cardio-focused sessions only)
* Conduct quality inspection: No loose parts, weird smells, or human embarrassment.
Phase 2: Engagement Initiation
4. Eye Contact:
* Avoid direct eye contact. Offer a slow blink.
* Await return blink. This is known as “Trust Authentication Handshake.”
5. Toy Activation:
* Gently wave the selected toy 6–8 inches from the cat’s nose.
* If the cat stares blankly, increase intensity by 12%.
* If cat pounces immediately, proceed to Phase 3.
6. Playstyle Calibration:
* Observe response:
* Sudden pounce = High-energy mode
* Lazy paw swat = Low-battery mode
* Immediate walkaway = User error or existential crisis
Phase 3: Full Play Engagement
7. Mimic Real Prey Behavior:
* Toy movements should follow these rules:
* Irregular, unpredictable patterns
* Darting under furniture, slight pauses, dramatic reveals
* Avoid “lazy dragging”—cats will lose respect
* If using laser pointer: NEVER shine in eyes. Redirect to soft target (floor, wall, unaware teammate)
8. Verbal Encouragement:
* Say things like:
* “Who’s a fierce office hunter of foul Quality Assurances Managers?”
* “Get that mouse! You’re so brave!”
* “You are the chaos I never asked for but truly deserve.”
* Optional: Praise their fine and well-groomed coat
Phase 4: Peak Play and De-escalation
9. Monitor for Overstimulation:
* Signs include:
* Ears back
* Tail lashing
* Sudden attack on your ankle
* “The Look”™
* If any signs occur, initiate emergency wind-down protocol.
10. Cool-Down Play:
* Transition to slower movements
* Let the cat “win” by catching and biting the toy
* Praise enthusiastically as if they’ve slain an entire Quality Assurances Birthday Bash/Margarita Friday Gathering
11. Reward Phase:
* Offer small treat or gentle head scritches
* Avoid belly rub unless you enjoy hand-to-claw combat
Phase 5: Toy Retrieval and Emotional Closure
12. Toy Storage:
* Do NOT leave out string-based toys unsupervised.
* Store all toys in a secure, cat-proof container. (Cat will find it anyway.)
13. Gratitude Acknowledgement:
* Thank your cat for the opportunity to serve
* Accept that you will never be appreciated directly
* Consider yourself lucky if the cat sits within 3 feet of you afterward
14. Emotional Debrief (for humans):
* Journal the experience. Reflect on the fleeting nature of feline affection.
* Cry, if necessary.
REMEMBER: You don’t play with a cat. The cat plays with you.
For further clarification, please refer to Appendix A: Tail Language Interpretations and Appendix B: Why the Cat is Now Sitting in the Toy Basket but Refusing to Play.
Let me know if you’d like a follow-up training module for “Successfully Administering a Pill to a Cat (Emergency Edition).”
Object(s) Mailed:
Day: Friday
Recipient: Manwol
Message Content:
URGENT
Subj: Requisitioned Office Supplies
It has come to our attention that a number of OmegaCorp office supplies that been removed from the supply cabinet and from employee desks without proper requisition or logging through the Asset Utilization Portal.
Let us be abundantly clear: OmegaCorp maintains a zero-tolerance policy toward unauthorized procurement or displacement of office materials, as outlined in the Corporate Resources Integrity Framework (CRIF, Section 6.2.9).
While we understand the allure of smooth-flow ink and ergonomic stapling, this behavior represents a breakdown in mutual trust, resource governance, and shared stationary ethics.
If you have knowledge of or involvement in this incident, you have 24 hours to:
1. Return all materials to their designated locations.
2. Submit a written acknowledgment via Form 9B (“Voluntary Supply Amnesty Statement”).
3. Attend a Mandatory Office Ethics Refresher Workshop, hosted in Conference Room B (snacks not included due to budget cuts).
Failure to comply may result in disciplinary escalation, up to and including revocation of drawer access privileges and permanent placement on the Office Inventory Watchlist™.
Remember: pens are cheap, but integrity is priceless.
Yours in compliance,
OmegaCorp Industries
Supplies Compliance
Object(s) Mailed:
Day: Friday
Recipient: Ryo
Message Content:
Hi [Employee Name],
I wanted to touch base regarding your unexpected out-of-office status this past Friday. While I absolutely support work-life balance and understand that life occasionally throws us curveballs, I do need to raise a few alignment concerns from a leadership perspective.
Your absence created a downstream bottleneck that impacted several deliverables tied to our Q2 strategic roadmap. Multiple stakeholders were left without the cross-functional synergy needed to move forward efficiently. In short: we lost momentum at a time when operational agility is mission-critical.
I recognize that everyone needs to recharge, but Fridays are high-visibility touchpoints where we drive key initiatives across the finish line. When one node in the value chain goes dark, the ripple effect can be significant.
Going forward, I’d ask that we maintain greater visibility and proactive communication, especially when capacity constraints may interfere with core objectives. If you're experiencing recurring bandwidth issues, I’d be happy to realign on priorities or explore optimization strategies.
We’re all in this ecosystem together, and every piece of the puzzle is essential.
Let’s recalibrate on Monday.
Best,
Calvin Omega
CEO, OmegaCorp Industries
Day: Friday
Recipient: Totty
Message Content:
Subject: Compliance Concern: Stapler Usage Deviation Incident Report
Following CEO Calvin Omega’s recent incident report regarding your “exceptional stapling,” Legal has reviewed the matter for procedural consistency.
While we commend your enthusiasm and recognize your contribution to interdepartmental packet cohesion, it’s our duty to raise a few concerns regarding Stapler Protocol Compliance (SPC-14.2.1).
Upon inspection, your staple placement, though visually stunning, was 1.3mm outside the approved “Top-Left Safe Zone” as defined in the OmegaCorp Document Fastening Handbook, Rev. Q4-2023. Additionally, the use of three staples (instead of the standard two) has triggered an automatic review under our Office Supply Conservation Initiative (OSCI-7B).
We’d like to remind you that while innovation is welcome, all fastening activities must remain within the bounds of established ergonomic, fiscal, and risk mitigation frameworks. Unregulated stapling could result in:
* Misaligned scan automation
* Increased wear on hole-punch units
* Reputational risk during external packet distribution
Please consider this a friendly formal pre-warning and schedule a 15-minute meeting with Office Asset Compliance to recalibrate your stapler (and possibly your expectations).
Thank you for your continued enthusiasm—and remember: every staple tells a story.
Warm regards, OmegaCorp Office Supplies Compliance Division
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